When you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, experts say it’s pretty common to feel a sense of boredom. In many cases, there’s really nothing to worry about. But if you’re wondering how to not get bored in a relationship, there are some pretty effective ways to prevent it, and keep things interesting as time goes by.
“As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I find this to be a common issue in the couples I work with,” Erika Labuzan-Lopez, LMFT, LPC tells Bustle. After years of being together, people will go to her saying they’ve lost the excitement in their relationship. When that happens, people often feel hopeless about the state of their relationship overall.
But according to Labuzan-Lopez, boredom usually happens when people get stuck in a routine. They do the same thing every week, they don’t make time to focus on the relationship, and they generally keep it to themselves instead of addressing the issues with their partner.
“It’s important to note that being bored is not always a big problem and can indicate a healthy and stable relationship,” she says. “Having stability and knowing exactly what your partner is thinking or how they approach situations can be evidence that you have a solid foundation. What I’ve found is that couples who are bored and really just disconnected and need to find ways to bring back connection is all ways, physically, time, emotionally, and sexually.”
The good news is, there are things couples can do to get out of this slump. Scheduling date nights, talking about what you enjoy doing together, and actually going and doing it are some great ways to prevent boredom from settling in. Here are some of the most effective ways to prevent boredom in your relationship, according to science.