There’s no guarantee that you can make a person fall in love with you. But of course, we all have a crush from time to time and it would be a lot better and easier if they would fall for us ASAP. General advice about finding love and keeping it is usually something along the lines of being your kind and wonderful self. You’re supposed to allow the right person to find you at the perfect time. But if your desire burns stronger than that, there are some things you can do to increase your odds. Of course, you have to be somewhat involved with someone to put some of these things into place. Here are 10 things that you can do to make someone fall in love with you. They’re all according to psychology and science. You might already be naturally doing some of these things, but some of them might take a little more effort to remember to keep up.
1. Make A Good First impression
Some research has said that 48 percent of men know whether they’re into a woman at first sight, while others agree that some sort of persuasion can take place. You can’t control certain factors of your first impression depending on what you look like or where you happen to be at the time, but there are different things that you can do to increase your likeability. You shouldn’t ever be fake when you do these things since that can come off as very obvious, but there are certain habits to be aware of in the way that you communicate that can be seen as good or bad in any kind of first impression. People tend to respond well to agreeable people, which doesn’t mean that you actually have to agree with them, but that you are open, listen well, respond at appropriate times, and aren’t overtly negative or a big complainer.
2. Be Unavailable Some Of The Time
This is a tough one since the beginning of relationships it can be pretty exciting and the urge is strong to spend as much time with this person as possible. It can even feel like you’re wasting precious time when you’re away from them or worry that someone else might swoop them up in your off hours. It’s always possible. But the problem is that people stop valuing the time that they have with someone when they can have it whenever they want. It makes it seem like you’re living only for them, and they don’t like it. It’s much more effective to make a good impression during the time that you are with them, and then know when to be unavailable to make them miss you a bit. They’ll be a lot more likely to be after you if they know that they don’t have control over your time. This doesn’t mean that you should lie about being busy when you’re not, but more so that you should keep your life full even when you’re falling for one.
3. Look Into His Eyes
That lovey-dovey eye contact is a real thing. Harvard psychologist Zick Rubin found that lovers who are deeply in love will make eye contact 75 percent of the time while they’re talking which is a lot more than friends will. People are not in love only tend to look each other in the eye 30 to 60 percent of the time. People who are in love are also on a slower response time to break their eye contact with their love when someone else starts talking in a group. You don’t need to go all creepy and force eye contact where it doesn’t feel natural since that is more likely to scare someone off and feel weird. But don’t be afraid to keep the eye contact when you are naturally connected in that way. Sometimes we get in the habit of breaking it because we’re shy, but don’t do that if you want the guy to fall for you. Make eye contact and keep it as long as you can during the conversation.
4. Focus On Him In Public
Since people in love tend to spend more time looking into each other’s eyes even when there are other people around, you can increase those super warm and loving feelings by making eye contact with your boyfriend even when other people are talking. Keeping eye contact a little longer will signal your vested interest even if he doesn’t register it on a conscious level. Think about how easy it is to spot a surprising connection between people if you see them do this in a group situation. When people hold eye contact even just a moment longer than is customary for a casual acquaintance it immediately signals that there is an attraction of sorts going on with those people. That’s one of the things that’s noticeable if you’re with someone who runs into an ex. They might introduce them as a friend but sometimes you can tell based on their eye contact that the relationship has been romantic.
5. Let Them Do Nice Things For You
When you do nice things for someone else, you are proud of yourself for doing that and also really enjoy the whole experience. If someone doesn’t offer to do nice stuff for you, you can definitely ask them for a favor here and there, even if it’s a super small thing like reaching something for you. This will trigger something in them and they will feel satisfied with helping you out. It may sound weird but when you think about it, it’s totally true. You can also do really nice stuff for them too and they will be bound to appreciate that. There needs to be some kind of balance between you two though in terms of give and take in the relationship. That’s the only way that both of you will feel like this is a good situation. If you do tons of stuff for your guy and he does nothing for you, then that’s not a good situation since you will feel like he’s taking advantage of you.
6. Dim The Lights
You might already be familiar with the fact that people’s pupils dilate when they are looking at someone that they are attracted to. And you can’t exactly force your pupils to dilate when you look at someone but you can force your pupils to dilate by dimming the lights. This is a super tricky move, but you can do it. When the lighting is low, your pupils will naturally dilate. So when someone looks at you, they are more likely to think that you’re interested in them even if it’s just the lighting that’s doing it. This might be another factor having to do with people making connections in bars and whatnot, besides all of the alcohol of course. You’re a lot more likely to think that someone is crushing on you in the dim lighting of a cozy corner than making a flash of eye contact in bright daylight somewhere in public.
7. Be Passionate About Something
Being passionate about something other than the person that you like is a super attractive thing. People are drawn to passionate people because passion usually mixes with drive and ends up being some sort of accomplishment. We think people are interesting who are working towards their goals, and we tend to be wary of people who don’t have big passions or interests in life. There’s something about a lack of motivation that isn’t very appealing. Who knows, it might go back to something primal like the people are most likely to survive who are willing to stay engaged and stay active and go after what they need. You don’t have to be the most accomplished person in the world, being passionate can be about anything, and you probably already are. You can be passionate about reading by yourself but the key is to let people know that you feel strongly about this interest instead of hiding it because you think it might sound boring.
8. Talk About Your Transformation
Sometimes it seems like hiding your flaws is the best way to make someone think that you’re awesome, but psychologically speaking, people actually want to hear about the shortcomings that you’ve experienced in the past and don’t have anymore. This makes you seem more human and it makes it obvious that you’re a better person than you used to be which makes you seem reflective, self-aware, confident enough to talk about it, and likely to continue on a path where you will keep being those things. It might seem frightening to open up about the so-called “bad” or hard stuff in your life but other people probably don’t think it’s as shameful as you do since they themselves have also gone through struggles of various kinds whether they can relate directly or not. It makes sense when you turn it around and think about something else being honest and vulnerable with you. It’s awesome.
9. Maintain The Connection
When you have an exciting connection with someone, you should absolutely be making an effort to keep that. Each couple’s connection is slightly different and might require more or less work, but even if you’re not physically seeing the person all the time, you want to make sure that you’re still on their mind. When they can’t stop thinking about you, they will be spending less time thinking about other people, right? Just make sure that what they’re thinking about when they think about you is good stuff. Trying to be manipulative can come off as manipulative and immature, and it isn’t a long-term recipe for success. Even if people fall for it, they will see the light at some point and be turned off by it, it’s not a healthy way to start something new. Seek out the authentic connections that you share and then honor those to the best of your ability.
10. Be Emotionally Available
When you’re dating someone and you want them to fall for you, you have to prove that you have a certain amount of emotional availability. Of course, you could argue that being totally closed off and running away from people could make you seem mysterious and could make them more interested in you. And that’s true… but it only works to a certain extent. If you want to hang out with someone, you need to open up and be slightly vulnerable to them so they feel like they can be vulnerable with you. This might mean being responsive when they are telling you a story, being open to the different parts of their personality, and expressing to them that you do in fact like them, as well as being able to accept that yeah, they totally like you too. Don’t brush things like that off if you want them to feel good about the fact that they like you.